I am training to be a yoga teacher and am working on mastering the more advanced moves. Last night, I was working on doing a handstand. I haven’t quite mastered it yet (and by ‘quite’ I mean ‘not at all’!) and it’s down to a confidence issue.
I can remember when I was a young lass and I could do them no problem back then. I had no fear around them at all. I could do headstands, jump of walls, flip dive into the water with no thoughts about ‘what if I break my neck!’
Now those things scare me and I have the ‘what if…’ scenarios running through my head. Basically, I feel out of control when I’m upside down so I have no confidence that it will be OK.
One major part of confidence is control.
I don’t mean that you have to be in control of everything and become a control freak. If you are a bit like that, then you are simply trying to control your environment and gain some confidence about the outcome. So don’t judge yourself (or others!) too harshly as this is quite a natural tendency.
The problem being is that we often try to control things that are totally outside of our ability to do so:
The truth is you can only every control yourself. Part of gaining confidence is about taking control over the things within your circle such as your words, actions, thoughts, reactions, behaviour, etc., and letting go of the rest. It’s about doing your best and being happy with that, come what may!
Skill of course comes into play also and as I practice my headstands my skill level will go up as will my confidence that it’s actually me that’s in control also because it’s my arms that are holding me up and I can control them or catch myself if I do go off balance.
So where in your life are you not feeling confident? I invite you to take a look at your circle of control within that area and see where you are stressing over things that are outside of it. Where can you let go and what small actions can you take within your circle that will give you the more confidence?
Confidence is also not some magical thing that you are either born with or you aren’t. Confidence is actually just a belief or feeling that everything is going to turn out ok and or even if it doesn’t go quite to plan, you will still be ok!
If you want some of my favourite tools and techniques for gaining more confidence why not sign up to get my free course called ‘Sparkle with Confidence’ here.