How to be content with your life, even if you aren’t where you want to be

I recently ran a vision boarding workshop with a group of lovely women who gave themselves the space to think about what their heart’s truly desire and put it down on a vision board. Getting clear about your destination is the first step in any journey however, the destination is not the be all and end all. A great topic that came up from this was how to be content, even if you aren’t where you want to be.

Maybe you hate your job. You’re single and want nothing more than to be in a relationship. You’re up to your eyeballs in debt and have no money. You don’t like where you live. You’re overweight. These are some examples of reasons why you might feel unhappy about your life right now. In this blog, I’m going to give you 5 tips to feel good about your life now, regardless of your circumstances.

1. Take your soul pills everyday!

The main premise of The Desire Map that I teach is, that it’s not the end goal you’re after, it’s the feelings that you believe that goal will bring that you really want. Ask yourself “How will that make me feel?” Of course nothing can really ‘make’ you feel a certain way, you are actually doing that yourself.

Those feelings can be generated everyday by small daily actions or ‘soul pills’ as I like to call them! Once you have the feelings, let’s say for example ‘freedom’ is one of them, what makes you feel free now? Is it going for a walk out in nature? Is it meditation? Is it taking a break from your computer regularly at work and going for a wander? Is it taking some me time? Is it a certain type of music? Is it walking a different route to work? They don’t need to be huge big actions, just small simple things that soothe your soul every day.

Define the feelings that you want to feel and write out a list of ‘soul pills’ you can take everyday to help you to feel them now. You don’t have to wait until some future point in time. You are 100% responsible for how you feel. You are the one with that power so use it to feel good!

2. Realise that you are more than your circumstances

If you are not feeling content about where you are in life now, then take some time to reflect on what you are making your circumstance mean? How are you talking to yourself about it? What stories are you making up about it all? You are the one making yourself unhappy by the thoughts you are thinking. This might sound harsh but it’s true!

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms— to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~ Victor Frankl

A great mantra to adopt is “I am more than my circumstances”. Your circumstances do not define you as a person or your self worth. You define that. What type of person do you want to be? Kind? Caring? Loving? Then go be those things regardless of your circumstances!

3. Be present

Life is now. If you spend your time wishing things were different then you are wasting your life away. Time is something that you never get back. I too have totally been there and still fall into that trap often! It’s part of being human. You wait for 5pm to finish work, for the weekend, for your next holiday, for some point in the future.

Practice being present to what is in front of you now. If you can practice moments of mindfulness throughout the day, then your mind will calm and you will become more content with your life. It’s a daily practice to bring your mind back by noticing your breath and all the sights, sounds and sensations around you.

If you become aware that your mind has wandered off and is worrying about the future, simply notice and bring yourself back by listing 10 things you perceive in front of you now and take a few deep breaths. Your mind will seem out of control at first, but it does get easier the more you practice!

4. Be grateful & be kind!

There is always someone out there worse off than you. Be grateful for what you do have in your life. A daily practice of gratitude is a great soul pill as it makes you realise that you already have a lot to be content with.

Being kind and helping those less fortunate than you can help you become happier as well as helping them. It also creates a ripple effect and contributes to making the world a better place for everyone! The health benefits of kindness is well documented. The 5 benefits of kindness according to Dr David Hamilton in his book ‘The 5 Side Effects of Kindness’ are:-

  1. Kindness makes you happier
  2. Kindness is good for your heart
  3. Kindness slows ageing
  4. Kindness improves relationships
  5. Kindness is contagious

So rather than wishing things were different, get out there and help others. Do your bit to make a difference in the world and become happier in the process!

5. Take consistent action

Taking action everyday is essential to achieving your vision and to feeling unstuck. Feeling stuck is inaction. You don’t need to have all the answers or for it to be perfect, you just need to take baby steps forward.

The more steps forward you take, the clearer the path will become. It’s that old saying of ‘jump and the net will appear’. Sometimes the path is trying different directions, getting lost and trying a different one again and again until you find one the works for you. Ask yourself everyday, “what’s one small step I can take today to bring me closer to where I want to be?” and go do it!

It doesn’t matter how long it takes you, or that so-and-so seems to have exactly what you want and did it overnight without any effort or that you never even actually get there. In the end it’s all about enjoying your own unique journey and who you become along the way. That is what is truly matters.

Need help with achieving your vision and feeling content with your life? Click below to find out how I can help you.

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