As a coach, one of my superpowers is to listen and ask thought provoking questions to my clients that will trigger an Aha! Moment. As a human being however, I easily fall into the trap of asking myself ‘judger’ type questions.
In fact this judger mindset is in built and is the one we default to first. Let me give you an example of this judger mindset with something that I have come up against recently.
I set an intention to do more videos and also do the live videos and I must say my inner perfectionist was having a field day with the end results! I immediately went into judger mindset and started to ask myself questions like ‘why can’t I make a good video?’ ‘What’s wrong with me? ‘Why can’t I do this?’ ‘Why am I getting this wrong?’ ‘Why can they do it and I can’t?’
Do those types of questions sound familiar? They are not helpful at all and put you into a negative state of mind which keeps spiraling downwards. These questions also go round and round on a loop, keeping you stuck in that negative space and make you feel bad about yourself. We all do it!
Your brain is actually wired to find the answers to any questions you ask it. Your subconscious believes everything you tell it and when you ask yourself a negative question, it will assume it to be true and serve you up reasons why it is indeed true! So when you ask yourself ‘why can’t I do this?’ it will faithfully tell you all the reasons why you can’t based on the past experiences you’ve had.
The answer is to change the types of questions you are asking yourself and go into a learner type mindset instead. When I realised I was asking myself those negative questions, I then switched to ask myself positive questions such as ‘what am I doing right?’, ‘What’s working?’ ‘What else can I do to improve this’, ‘What are they doing that I like and that I can adopt’. These types of question will get your subconscious to bring up entirely different answers and also feel much better!
“Successful people ask better questions and as a result get better answers” ~ Tony Robbins
If you want to change the results you are getting, you also need to change the types of questions you are asking yourself and tap into the power of your mind. These positive types of questions activate your inner wisdom too. You will always get an answer to your question. It might not come straight away but it will come. It’s like a cosmic Google! You type in your question and the universe will deliver an answer!
For this reason, I am also a big fan of ‘questfirmations’. They are affirmations that are turned into a question. Starting your day with a powerful question or questfirmation is a great practice. Questions such as ‘what can I do today to be the best version of me?’ ‘What can I do today to move me closer to (insert your goal here)’ ‘What can I do today that will help me feel (insert desired feeling here)?’
You will not only get some great answers that you can take action on but they are very uplifting and motivating to boot! What type of questions are you asking yourself? This week I challenge you to become aware of what questions you are asking yourself. The key is to become aware of when you have gone into judger mode and then change to more powerful and positive questions instead.
I’d love to know how you get on, so feel free to drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know!